Jumat, 01 November 2013

And Then Life Happens ... Aging Parents & The Case for Online Help

Am now facing a reminder of how precious it all is.

Many of us have aging vulnerable parents.  I do.  I live in San Diego.  My mother lives in Minneapolis.  This past week, she was hospitalized.  Unexpectedly of course.  A serious issue, yes.  How serious?   Not exactly sure, but she was discharged after a couple nights and is now in a rehab facility for some days (how many?) with the expectation that she will then return to her own place.  Fortunately, my brother is a doctor so, although he too lives in Southern California, we have a deeper understanding than most of her physical condition.  But at this point in my mom’s life, friends are scarce -- so, although my sister thankfully lives in Minneapolis to check in with her, my mother’s emotional condition (and, in particular, basic feelings of safety) are now in play.  For the first time.  The current “situation” likely has changed her perspective in this regard permanently.  So, my siblings and I are in full-on scramble mode to figure out “next steps” (“next steps” that we have loosely discussed for years, but never locked down as a plan).  Is my mother living at her long-time home now an option?  I don’t think so.

As part of all of this, I am soon flying back to my home town for several days to be with my mother, support her, and assess her overall state-of-mind and situation.  In the meantime, my siblings and I continue to feverishly research various issues, including potential alternative living arrangements in SoCal, as best we can.

Digital media, for the most part, is not there to help us (or others like us) in any organized fashion.  As surprising as it may sound, there are no complete online services that consolidate those issues that we all have faced -- or will face -- with aging parents or other dire medical situations that require consideration of long-term care.  Instead, it is all a confusing disjointed patchwork.  I know this not only from my own experience, but also by having also spoken with others who too have faced these “aging parent” issues and are sophisticated about such things.  THAT is a MASSIVE need for all of us -- and a MASSIVE business opportunity for “double bottom line-driven entrepreneurs -- given the shifting demographics of a massively growing silver population.  So far, “A Place for Mom” is the most complete site I have seen, but it is incomplete -- it lacks many of the topics and resources that are relevant in these situations.  It also forces users like me to frequently interact with faceless third-party operators, rather than providing me open information and enabling me to parse through it effectively and efficiently on my own (which I want to do in this situation).

Of course, and at the risk of stating the obvious, my mother’s medical condition (and emotional state) mean that everything else is de-prioritized.  Everything.  Family first.  And, just like working at a start-up, a relentless focus and tenacity are required in situations like this.  Business meetings can wait -- or can be covered by others (that is what a team does, after all).  “Just do it.”  Find a way.  Stay on it.  Be a person of action (not only a person who ruminates).  Hours of sleep can be sacrificed for the sake of researching and figuring it all out -- and trick-or-treating with the kids -- to keep the basic “wheels on the bus” for all other things.  That’s what coffee is for.

These are things most of us already know, of course.

But, they, again, are fresh in my mind.  It is a time simply to make it happen -- “it” being the best possible alternative for my mother.

All other things can wait.  But, entrepreneurs, please come and help.  I -- and all of us out there (at one time or another) -- are waiting for you.

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